Category Archives: Relationships

Learning 699

In every stage of life you’ll find there is a special person, whom we met and it looks like we have perfect compatibility with them. We cherish moments with them and make memories. 

That special person although leaves you physically after that stage, but he / she always holds a special space in your heart forever.

Learning 666 “Repairing the boat hole.”

A man was asked to paint a boat.

He brought with him paint and brushes and began to paint the boat a bright red, as the owner asked him.

While painting, he noticed that there was a small hole in the hull, and quietly repaired it.

When finished painting, he received his money and left.

The next day, the owner of the boat came to the painter and presented him with a nice cheque, much higher than the payment for painting.
The painter was surprised and said “You’ve already paid me for painting the boat Sir!” 

“But this is not for the paint job. It’s for having repaired the hole in the boat.”

“Ah! But it was such a small service… certainly it’s not worth paying me such a high amount for something so insignificant.”

“My dear friend, you do not understand. Let me tell you what happened.

When I asked you to paint the boat, I forgot to mention about the hole.

When the boat dried, my kids took the boat and went on a fishing trip.

They did not know that there was a hole. I was not at home at that time.

When I returned and noticed they had taken the boat, I was desperate because I remembered that the boat had a hole.

Imagine my relief and joy when I saw them returning from fishing.

Then, I examined the boat and found that you had repaired the hole! You see, now, what you did? You saved the life of my children! I do not have enough money to pay your ‘small’ good deed.”

So, no matter who, when or how. Just continue to help, sustain, wipe tears, listen attentively and carefully repair all the ‘leaks’ you find, because you never know when one is in need of us or when God holds a pleasant surprise for us to be helpful and important to someone.

You may have repaired numerous ‘boat holes’ along the way… of several people without realizing how many lives you’ve saved.

*So let’s Keep up the Good work, no matter how small it may seem to be.*

Want to thank Everyone who Repaired my boat this year in every way like Good Wishes, Good thoughts, Love, Care & Prayers…
Thank you !

May God bless you always.

Learning 663

Having a better life starts with practicing self-discipline and developing the habit of delayed gratification.

Delayed gratification is the process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life.

Let’s say you struggle with procrastination. Who among us hasn’t tackled the easy work first and then spent the rest of the day struggling with the boring and difficult stuff?

The author had a patient with this exact problem, and he advised her to start practicing delayed gratification by reversing her work habits.

This meant bearing down and dealing with the difficult stuff first. So instead of facing one easy hour followed by six miserable hours of dragging her feet, she could have one miserable hour followed by the reward of six enjoyable hours.

Discipline also means accepting responsibility, being truthful and striking a healthy balance in life.

Delayed gratification is just one of the tools that will help you bring discipline to your life.

Real self-discipline also requires that you accept responsibility for your own life.

Another tool that can improve your self-discipline is a dedication to truth, meaning that you honestly and openly face the reality of your life.

Now, this can be a tough one since it requires that you have a strong sense of self-reflection and be willing to constantly update your worldview.

Being open to self-analysis, and reflecting honestly on life, are part and parcel of personal growth.

The final tool for better discipline is balancing.
It means letting go and giving up the unhealthy habits and extreme behaviors that are throwing your life out of balance. These are things you may do because they add a thrill to your life, but which, in the end, tend not to turn out well.

Love is closely linked to our spiritual growth and self-discipline. Much has been written and said about the nature of love, but put simply, love is having the will to nurture your own spiritual growth, as well as that of someone else.

In this way, you can look at love as an important part of your evolution, since spiritual growth is about reaching a larger state of being.

It’s also important to understand that before you can love someone else, you first need to love yourself. It’s similar to a parent teaching a child how to behave in a disciplined manner. For this to happen, the parent must practice this discipline themselves.

To love someone means making an effort. It requires more than a mere desire to love. Most people desire, or want, to love, but few are in fact loving. Those with the will to grow spiritually have chosen to love and therefore they act lovingly.

Love is not a feeling but an action that requires attention and comes with risks. The feeling of love is related to cathecting, which means investing emotional energy in something or someone.

Love can even exist without that feeling we always associate with it, since true love is bigger than cathecting. In a well-functioning marriage, disagreements can happen, and tempers can flare, but the partners continue to work in tandem toward their goals. These are two people who made a commitment through their own volition, and that’s more important than any fleeting emotions.

However, for love to flourish it needs more than a commitment – it requires attention and the understanding that it can be lost.

Loving someone means giving them attention and supporting their growth. And this requires putting aside everything else to truly listen and concentrate on what your loved one is saying and experiencing. When you do this, you extend yourself and gain new knowledge about the person you love. But remember, you can’t love someone without the risk of losing them.

Learning 662

The Energy Bus – By Jon Gordon

10 rules for a new life. 

The first rule: become the driver of your own bus and take back control.

The second rule: with vision and focus, you can drive the bus in the direction you want.

Law of attraction.
According to this concept, all thoughts are magnetic, which means the things you think about will begin showing up in your life. Just take Olympic athletes, many of whom use the law of attraction by visualizing their best performances before entering a competition. Often this results in gold-medal wins. 

Just take the formula E + P = O. It says that Events + Perception/Positive Energy = Outcome. 

In other words, there are lots of things you’ve got no control over, but what you do control is how you perceive those events. So, by choosing to have positive thoughts, rather than negative ones, you can achieve better results.

The rule number three: This is key since positive energy is the fuel for your journey and it will keep your bus moving forward. But how can you keep that fuel tank topped up?

Sometimes it just requires approaching things from a different perspective.

If you have a lot of work to do, it can help to feel grateful for having a job in the first place, knowing that lots of people struggle to get work at all.

Such a simple act of gratitude will release endorphins and make you feel better before you know it. 

The rule number four: Tell people about your vision and ask them to join you on your journey. Whether it’s at work with your colleagues or at home with your partner, happiness and success often rely on teamwork.

It’s simple: the more people you get on your bus, the more positive energy you’ll have to fuel your ride and the more successful your results will be.

No one creates success in a vaccum and the people we surround ourselves with have a big influence on the life and success we create. 

The rule number five: Don’t waste energy on people who don’t share your vision; remove negative people whenever you can.

Save your energy and don’t try to convince people who aren’t ready to get on board. Just remember, if they’re full of negativity, they’ll only slow you down.

And if negative people do get on your bus, it’s essential to remove them as soon as you can. You might notice passengers who complain along the way. You can think of these people as vampires who suck out your positivity and vision.

The rule number six: is to get Energy Vampires off of your bus. To put it another way, if you have negative people on your team, sit them down and have a talk. Try to determine where their negative attitude comes from and how you can work together. If they’re unwilling to change, you have to let them go.

Or, in situations where you can’t get rid of problematic people, say your boss or supervisor, find ways to boost your own positive energy. If you can, you’ll outweigh the negativity they bring into your life.

Other people can feel your emotions and be inspired by your enthusiasm.

In other words, people around us can perceive the way we feel and respond to it. That’s why people can tell when someone is insincere. But it also means that when people are truly passionate about something, they share that enthusiasm and those positive emotions with others.

Because of this, it’s key to energize your whole bus, but when you do so, it’s also important it’s done with true enthusiasm. 

The rule number seven: enthusiasm will make more people join you and motivate them along the ride. In fact, the word “enthusiasm” comes from the Greek word entheos, meaning “inspired” or “filled with the divine.”

As long as you’re excited about your work and the tasks you’re doing, everyone around you will feel the same. This is the kind of positive energy you need to fuel your ride for the long haul.

The author events has a name for it your CEO or Chief Energy Officer. People who fill this role infect their team members, employees and even customers with powerful positive energy that inspires and propels them.

Make your passengers feel valued by giving them your time and recognition.

You’ve probably noticed that you work harder when others recognize your efforts and care about you. It seems obvious, but it points to a deeper human need for appreciation.

In other words, by loving your team members, you can make them feel good, but also motivate them to do their best work and follow you wherever you go. 

The rule number eight: is to love the passengers on your bus.

Here’s how.

First, be sure to take your time and listen. Remember, love and relationships need a while to develop and blossom. So, just as you need to spend time with your partner to build your relationship, you’ve got to spend time with your employees. Regular individual meetings are essential; they offer an opportunity for you to get to know your team personally.

For instance, you should never send an electronic birthday message. Rather, write out real birthday cards for each person on your team.

The rule number nine: Purpose and fun will propel you to new heights. Its needed to understand that purpose makes the work easier. 

A story about President Johnson and a janitor at NASA offers a great example. The president was visiting the space program when he encountered a custodian enthusiastically cleaning the floors. The president told the man that he was probably the best janitor he had ever met, to which the janitor responded, “Sir, I’m not a janitor. I just helped put a man on the moon.”

It just goes to show that, with a higher purpose, you can easily accomplish everyday tasks, and that’s why rule number nine is to let yourself be driven by a higher purpose. Most importantly, purpose and fun can enable stellar performances. 

Last rule, number ten: you have got to have fun on your ride. After all, success is much easier to attain when you’re enjoying yourself, rather than stressing out.

Learning 643

“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” 

Many successful individuals actually made it a habit to never openly criticize others.

Benjamin Franklin, for instance, claimed that the secret of his success was to “speak ill of no man.” Abraham Lincoln learned this lesson as well. Criticizing someone is easy, but it takes character to be understanding and to forgive others for their mistakes and shortcomings.

If you want others to like you, try to understand what drives them, accept their shortcomings, and make it a rule to never criticize them openly, for this criticism will only come back to harm you.

One of the strongest drivers of human behavior is the desire to be appreciated by others. We all like being complimented and hearing we’re doing a good job. Some people even claim that all of civilization ultimately rests upon the human desire for appreciation. Our desire for approval and praise makes us climb the highest mountains, write novels and found multimillion-dollar companies.

Try thinking like Ralph Waldo Emerson, who said that every person he met was superior to him in certain ways, so there was always something to learn from and appreciate in other people.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

Show your appreciation for others by talking about what’s important to them. Take Theodore Roosevelt, for example. Whenever he was about to meet someone for the first time, he thoroughly prepared for the meeting by reading everything he could about the other person’s interests. He understood that the route to any person’s good graces is the ability to talk about the things they value the most.

Of course, there is one topic everybody is interested in: themselves. Every person feels that they are valuable and interesting, and we enjoy others confirming this belief. Benjamin Disraeli was certainly right when he said, “Talk to people about themselves, and they will listen for hours.” Whenever you meet someone, find something you admire about them and tell them about it.

Dale Carnegie, for example, once wanted to brighten the day of a bored service employee, so he told him, “I certainly wish I had your head of hair.” The easiest way to get into the mind-set of appreciating others is to keep in mind the Golden Rule: treat others as you would like others to treat you.

If you want to win others over, show them your full appreciation and be enthusiastic about it. Demonstrate that you’re interested in them and in what they have to say, and try to remember the things they tell you.

Theodore Roosevelt was popular among all his staff because he made a habit of greeting them all by their names. He also deliberately made time for listening to them and tried to remember what they said. By doing this, he showed others his appreciation, and he got far more back in return.

Avoid all arguments – they cannot be won. When you encounter opposition to your ideas, there’s often no need to find an agreement. It’s already valuable to have others challenge your views, without imposing your own ideas on them. Be thankful for their input, and think about their reasoning, instead of automatically arguing to bolster your views.

Never tell others they are wrong; they will only resent you. To get the other person to reevaluate their view, it’s much more effective to be humble and open-minded; for example, “I thought differently but I might be wrong. I’ve been wrong pretty often, so let’s have a look at the facts again together.”

With a little luck, a soft approach will quickly turn opponents into allies, making it possible for you to change their opinions.

Benjamin Franklin made it a habit to never openly oppose others. When speaking to others, he even banished certain expressions from his vocabulary such as “certainly” and “undoubtedly.” He felt they were too rigid and reflected an unbending mindset. Rather, he used phrases like “I conceive” or “I imagine.”

Whenever you are wrong, admit it immediately and clearly. Whenever you do and someone is about to berate you for it, there’s a simple way to steal your opponents’ thunder: admit your mistake quickly and clearly.

This can have an unexpected effect: just a second ago, the other person was planning to bolster his own self-esteem by criticizing you, but the moment you admitted your “guilt,” the situation completely turned around. If the other person still wants to feel important, they must be generous and forgive you.

Dale Carnegie experienced this once when a police officer caught him walking his dog without a muzzle. Even before the officer began to talk, Carnegie himself expressed how very, very sorry he was, and how unacceptable his misdeed was. Normally, the officer might have been very critical and preachy, but thanks to this upfront admission of guilt, the officer did the opposite: he accepted Carnegie’s apology and let him go without a fine.

This approach also has another very positive side-effect: publicly criticizing yourself is much more pleasant than having to listen to others do it.

Public self-criticism is also likely to make others think more highly of you. Anyone can defend themselves in the face of criticism, but it takes character to openly admit your weaknesses and shortcomings.

To be convincing, get others to say “yes” as often as possible. Always emphasize shared interests. Make it clear that both you and your opponent have the same goals. Never reveal your own views before ensuring the other person believes your interests are shared. The most effective way to persuade them of your views is to make them agree with you as often as possible. Build your argumentation by asking your opponent lots of small questions that can only be answered with a “yes.”

The reasoning behind this approach, also known as the Socratic method, is simple: the more yeses you get during a discussion, the greater the probability that you will also get a “yes” when you finally reveal your real position on the subject.

By using the Socratic method, you can even get people to agree with views they would have fiercely opposed only moments before.

Make sure others like you by smiling, listening and showing your appreciation for them. This will make them more inclined to listen to you and do you favors. 

 – Lessons from “How to win friends and influence people. – By Dale Carnegie”