Category Archives: self-help

Learning 698

The greatest rewards of creativity are having a vision and then turning it into a reality. 

This is a process you control completely, and it’s one that comes with tremendous satisfaction and happiness in and of itself.

David Bowie repeatedly warned against doing work for “other people” and stressed the importance of remembering why you felt the personal urge to create in the first place. Bowie didn’t create to be famous; he created to better understand himself and to “do something artistically important.”

Ultimately, the real reward of having your creation be well-received is that it can make it easier for you to continue creating. And when you’re in it for how satisfying the creative process is, then there is no better reward than being able to keep doing what you love.


Avoid the myth of “making it” and create for an audience of one: yourself.

First of all, you should understand that the notion of “making it” is a myth. You might think that “making it” means you can kick back and rest on your laurels, but here’s the thing: success in the form of popularity and fame is fleeting, especially today. Someone can be getting attention one day, and, 24 hours later, everyone will have moved on to the next new thing.


Remember, the reward is in the process, and the only audience you have to worry about is you. 
When you’re working for an audience of one, there are a number of benefits – all of which can help you hone your creative voice, making it more powerful and, therefore, more likely to gain a big audience.

There are three primary ways of unlocking and embracing your creative side, and they’re all about listening to yourself and what’s around you. More specifically, there are three forms of listening: listening to yourself, listening to your environment and listening to others. All of these steps will allow you to bring more of yourself to your work and make it that much stronger.

There are different ways of listening to yourself, but the first step is to trust yourself and what you have to say. This means being comfortable and confident in what you stand for and not being wishy-washy about your values. If you’re unsure of those values, you can ask yourself some important questions, like what makes you angry, what makes you joyful and excited and what kind of experience you want people to have when they enter your world. If you want to be really precise, you can even write a manifesto!

Being present is another important way of developing your voice. If you’re not present, the profound moments of creative inspiration and the experiences that define a creator’s voice can fly by without your noticing. A lot of people also have the unfortunate habit of always thinking about the future and imagining what they’ll do tomorrow, when all the right pieces are finally in place. You should avoid such thinking. Rather, figure out what you can do with the resources you have now.

It’s also important to create a judgment-free headspace, while simultaneously cultivating solitude. Another way of avoiding being present is to indulge in self-judgment and criticism. You can’t create and criticize at the same time, so drop the judgment altogether and stay focused on the process and listening to what your creative voice has to say. A great way of really listening is to embrace moments of solitude – otherwise known as “just thinking.”

However, simply thinking isn’t so easy when there are numerous distractions vying for your attention at any given moment. So you may need to make a deliberate effort to cultivate solitude. Starting a meditation practice is something a lot of creators do in order to form a deep connection with their creative voice. The author also finds noise-cancelling headphones to be very helpful.

To hear your creative voice, it’s also important to listen to your body, since a healthy body goes hand in hand with a healthy mind.

Think of it this way: Being creative is about being productive, right? And to be as productive as you can possibly be, consideration needs to be given to your overall health and well-being.
One of the best things you can do to boost productivity is to make sure you get enough sleep. But sleep itself can also be productive. For starters, dreams have long been a source of creative inspiration, so starting a practice of writing down your dreams in a journal is bound to be enlightening. 

Another popular trick among creatives is to ask an important question right before falling asleep. Start doing this, and you may be surprised how often the answer to your question emerges in your sleep. Even if you don’t quite remember your dream when you wake up, you can jog your memory by spending some time writing down your thoughts anyway. The answer may become clear as you write.

Being creative takes cognitive power, and it’s been proven that a body full of junk food and trans fats will have less cognitive power than one with a healthy diet – especially one that’s high in omega-3s and B vitamins.

Keeping a journal can help here. Make a note of your daily productivity and diet for a week or two. Then note what you were eating on those days when everything clicked.

Finally, there’s exercise. This is another scientifically-proven productivity booster, since exercise creates mitochondria, which give both your muscles and your brain energy. And there’s no better way for an adult to help the body create new brain cells than to get the heart rate going. Plus, exercise is another time to create the sort of solitude that’s perfect for deep, meaningful thinking.

To make your work the best it can be, give critical attention to the environment you’re working in. This isn’t just about putting up some inspirational posters on your wall; it’s about your entire environment, including its sights, sounds and smells.

So let’s start with the physical space around you.
Perhaps you’ve already read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo. With some simple decluttering of your physical environment, you’ll benefit from both a cleaner space and a decluttered mind.

How exactly do you declutter? Well, when considering disposing of an item, ask yourself, “Do I love this item? Is it enriching my life somehow?” If you don’t love it, get rid of it. Simple as that. If it doesn’t make you feel good and inspire you, then it’s very likely dragging you and your creativity down.

Spaces that are often wonderful for the psyche are natural surroundings. Something like a forest walk is not only great for solitude and deep thinking; it’s also been shown, in studies of “nature therapy,” to reduce the stress-related hormone cortisol by 12 percent.

Being out in nature is also a great way to remove yourself from noise and the productivity-killing distractions of modern technology. While noise-cancelling headphones can be great for working in public spaces, oftentimes the brain works best with some white noise or a certain type of music.

If you’re trying to write or read, you’ll likely want to stay away from lyric-heavy music and give the brain a break from verbal processing. But if you’re working in a visual medium, like painting or sculpting, music with lyrics might be the perfect accompaniment.

As for technology, many apps and websites are specifically designed to grab your attention and thereby keep you from being productive and creative. 

Most social media sites and emails are distractions thereby breaking your concentration and preventing yourself from entering the most productive – and enjoyable – state of being, known as flow. Flow is when you lock in to what you’re doing and time seems to fly by.

Take action to cut distractions and toxic elements from your day-to-day life.
Remember, you control your devices, not the other way around; you can go into the settings and turn off the notifications that pop up and derail your train of thought. You can also unsubscribe from whatever companies are inundating your inbox with emails that add little to no value to your life. In fact, a good step right now might be to unsubscribe yourself from everything and then add yourself back to the small number of blogs, apps and podcasts that do add value to your life. There are services, such as Unroll.Me, that can help you with this.
It’s also wise to simply turn your phone off and put it in another room when you want to get serious work done. And even when you’re not in the middle of a project, scheduling daily “unplug time” will be a great benefit to your creativity. There are also tools – for instance, the apps Focus, RescueTime and even the Facebook News Feed Eradicator plug-in – that can help you avoid the distractions of the internet for extended periods of time.

However, technology isn’t the only thing that can be toxic to your well-being. There may also be certain people that are weighing you down and adding nothing positive to your life. It may be difficult at first, but you’ll eventually be glad to cut ties with people who are actually draining your life of positivity.

A good policy is to treat the elements of your environment like the food you put in your body; cut out the junk and anything that makes you feel bad or insecure about yourself.

Along with cutting off distractions, you should be careful about the seemingly helpful tools that you bring into your environment.

Remember that a good and useful tool is something that can help bring your unique vision to life – not something that makes you less creative by deciding how your photo will look or how your music will sound. If you’re a photographer, a good photo app will make it easier for you to create your desired images rather than make you choose from a series of pre-set options.

There are good habits you can adopt to boost your productivity. One method is to use what’s known as a certainty anchor. This is a ritual that can help bring stability to your day, even if things around you are chaotic. Let’s say you have the ritual of brewing a cup of coffee and putting on your headphones before sitting down to work. This act of coffee and headphones will immediately bring focus to your mind; it signals that it’s time to work.

Another good habit is to find ways of reducing decision fatigue. Here’s an experiment you can do: tomorrow morning, for the first hour of your day, make a note of all the decisions you have to make, from what to wear to what to eat. On average, we make around 300 decisions a day, but that number could be significantly reduced. By decreasing the decisions you have to make, you’ll preserve more cognitive energy for your creativity.

It’s also good to keep in mind that creating good habits is often a gradual process. Let’s say you want to have the daily habit of writing a thousand words. Don’t try to hit that mark on the first day. If you come up short, you might beat yourself up or throw in the towel before you even give yourself a fair chance. So set a series of gradually increasing goals instead, and work yourself up to where you really want to be. For the first week, just write a minimum of one sentence. For the second week, write at least a paragraph every day. On the third week, make it a page, and then keep increasing until you hit your goal of a thousand words per day.

Also, keep in mind that it takes around an hour before a person reaches the state of flow, so schedule accordingly and don’t just give yourself an hour of work time. You could very well be stopping right when the good stuff starts!

The best creative voices are ones that listen to others while remaining true to themselves. It’s important to stay true to your voice and create for an audience of one (yourself), but this doesn’t mean you should cut out all outside voices altogether.

Just as you should cut out the toxic influences in your life, it’s wise to populate your life with good influences. In other words, you want people who provide you with wings to soar, not anchors that weigh you down.

Being part of a community of like-minded individuals is a great way to boost your creativity. These people won’t only provide advice and inspiration; they’ll make you feel as though you’re part of something bigger. They can also act as a safety net, allowing you to feel more comfortable making bold and challenging work. You can help form a strong community with simple acts like creating a monthly dinner club for your like-minded friends and colleagues.

If you have a grand idea for a project you want to get off the ground, it makes sense to have at least one other person with you. In pretty much every creative endeavor, there is some form of collaboration going on, whether it’s the crew that comes together to make a movie, or the editor that helps the novelist. The myth of the “lone creator” is just that – a myth.

So don’t isolate yourself completely in an effort to be a singular creator. Each work of art contains traces of artists who came before. You should embrace influence, as long as it’s positive and inspirational.  

However, it’s also important to be deliberate in the influences you consume. If you want to make an Oscar-winning movie, spending a day watching goofy YouTube videos is unlikely to help, whereas taking in quality material before you sit down to create your own is a fine way to get yourself inspired and motivated. 

You may also find that it’s best to absorb material that is somewhat different from what you want to create. This will help you maintain a unique and singular creative voice. If you want to start a new blog, maybe don’t use other blogs for inspiration; rather, use the work of, say, your favorite poets to find your own angle.

The possibilities are endless!

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Learning 697

Dance as if no one’s watching.

Oprah was lucky enough to find herself dancing on stage one day with the legendary Tina Turner. In the beginning, she was afraid that she would mess up her dance routine in front of such a large audience. 

But as the show progressed, Oprah managed to overcome her self-consciousness, realizing that this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that she’d squander if she didn’t enjoy herself. 

The lesson, then, is to grab opportunities with both hands and to bask in the moment. This will ease your fear of judgment.

Learning 696

Rather than being out of touch with your body, you should focus on your physical sensations.

When someone lets you down, it’s easy to lose your temper. When the author discovered that her son had failed yet again to do his homework, her first impulse was to angrily confront him. But then she opted for a different approach.

Before storming into her son’s room, she stopped and focused on the physical sensations her body was experiencing.

Amazingly, she felt herself calming down. Instead of concentrating on her furious thoughts and rushing toward a confrontation with her son, she focused her attention on how the anger was making her body feel. As soon as she became aware of her own body, she felt tenderness replace her anger.

She realized her anger was making her whole body tighten and her chest felt as if it was about to explode.

By becoming more attuned to how she was feeling, she became more attuned to how her son was feeling. This empathy helped her find the right things to say when she later had a conversation with him.

Remembering the connection between body and mind will help you make better decisions. Unfortunately, most of us remain out of touch with our bodies to the extent that we inhabit an entirely mental world.

We don’t pay enough attention to our physical sensations from moment to moment because we’re always planning what we’ll do next. For example, even when you hug a close friend, have you ever calculated how long you should embrace until you pull away?

This is too bad, since fully experiencing physical sensations, both positive and negative, can offer a sense of being alive and connected with every part of life. Even feeling the rain on your face can awaken your senses if you let yourself focus on the experience for long enough.

Learning 695

Truly  enlightened  people,  those  who experience  deep happiness  daily,  are  prepared to  put  off  short-term  pleasure  for the  sake  of long-term  fulfillment. 

So  they  tackle  their  weaknesses and  fears head  on,  even  if  dipping  into  the  zone  of  the unknown brings  with  it  a  measure  of discomfort.  They  resolve  to  live  by  the wisdom  of  kaizen,  improving  every  aspect  of themselves ceaselessly  and  continuously.  With time,  things  that  were  once difficult  become easy.  Fears  that  once  prevented  them  from all the happiness,  health  and  prosperity  they deserved  fall  to  the  wayside like  stickmen toppled  by  a  hurricane.

Happiness  comes  through  the progressive realization  of  a  worthy  objective.  When  you are  doing what you  truly  love  to  do  you  are bound  to  find  deep  contentment.

Doing  what  you  love,  whether  this  means giving  up  the  work  you  are  presently  doing to  become  an  actor  or spending  less  time  on those  things  that  are  less  important  to  make time  for  those  things  that  are  more meaningful,  requires  a  great deal  of  courage.

It  requires  you  to  step  out  of  your  comfort zone. And change  is  always  a  little uncomfortable  at  first.  It  is  also  more than  a little  risky.  Having  said  this,  this  is  the  surest way  to  design a  more  joyful  life.

Once  you  get  yourself  together, your  world will  be  okay.  Once  you  master  your  mind, body  and character,  happiness  and  abundance will  flow  into  your  life  almost magically.  But you  must  spend  some  time  daily  working  on yourself,  even  if  for  only  ten  or  fifteen minutes.

Learning 694

Be a kind and constant friend to yourself and your painful experiences.

When in a distressing situation, we tend to panic. If this sounds familiar, you can learn something from the story of Jacob, one of the author’s colleagues.

Jacob was an experienced meditation teacher, who was also in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease. Standing in front of a class of meditation students, he found himself suddenly confused and unsure of where he was. Importantly, though, Jacob didn’t panic. Instead, he told his students how he was feeling. He admitted to being scared, confused and disoriented.

Not the best meditation class, right? On the contrary!

Although it might sound disastrous for both the teacher and his class, the students thanked him afterward for one of the best lessons on meditation they’d ever received.

Why were his meditation students so impressed? Because instead of pushing away his negative experience – his fear and confusion – Jacob had the courage to express what he was experiencing.

Importantly, by naming his fear and confusion, Jacob honored his painful experience, instead of rejecting it as something that was “wrong” or unmentionable. He didn’t turn the experience into an enemy; he accepted and made friends with it. Jacob’s reaction was a shining example of radical acceptance.

When you recognize your emotions at any given moment and greet them with this unconditional friendliness, you’re practicing radical acceptance. In this state, you pay careful attention to your feelings, allowing yourself to accept them instead of making them into an enemy to recoil from.

This aspect of radical acceptance is crucial because it helps increase self-compassion.

Most of us are only friendly toward ourselves when we’re succeeding. As soon as we fail at something, we rush to self-judge and reject the parts of ourselves that are less than perfect. But ask yourself: Would you treat a good friend poorly if they failed at something? Hopefully not.

It can be difficult, but try to extend to yourself the same compassion and understanding you’d extend to your closest friend.

Learning 681

The Power of RAS
You can prime your brain to recognize opportunities that will help you reach your goals.

See if this sounds familiar: your mother calls to say she’s bought a new car – let’s say it’s a silver Toyota Yaris – which surprises you since you’ve never heard of this car before. The next day, however, you start to see this car everywhere you go, and many of them are silver, too! How is this possible?

This is the magic of your brain’s filtering system, known as the Reticular Activating System, or RAS.

The RAS is what allows us to sharpen our attention, and it can be primed to notice, or not notice, certain things.

Parents of newborns are familiar with the RAS, as it is what allows them to sleep through just about anything, like traffic noise or a blaring television, yet wake up at the slightest peep from their baby. This is due to their RAS being biologically primed to hear when a child is in need.

This is the same mechanism that will allow you to hear when your name is mentioned across the room at a loud party. Despite the music and dozens of simultaneous conversations, when this happens your ears will perk up and you’ll find yourself suddenly being able to overhear a conversation that was mere background noise just seconds earlier.

What’s more, the RAS can also help you achieve your goals. When you write those clearly defined goals on paper, you’ll prime your brain to begin its unconscious work on the project.

After you write down your goals, your RAS filter will constantly be on the lookout for messages or information that will help your quest. So, after writing down that you want enough money to open a restaurant, you’ll be primed to overhear someone at a party who says they have a history of investing in restaurants. Otherwise you never would have noticed.

Learning 679

You can only be successful if you avoid mental near- and farsightedness.

Maybe you’ve learned to live with some sort of visual impairment. But what if you suffer from mental near- or farsightedness? Such dysfunctional mentality will bar your way to success.

So what is mental nearsightedness? It means you’re unable to see the possibilities lying in your future. Perhaps you fail to understand the importance of planning and having goals to strive for, or you waste all your energy tackling problems that are right in front of you, and are blind to the bigger picture.

But being able to plan for the future is one of our biggest evolutionary advantages. Take Dick Pope, a man who wasn’t blinded by mental nearsightedness. Pope saw an opportunity to build a tourist attraction on the farmland surrounding the town of Winter Haven, Florida, where others saw nothing but desolate swampland. So he bought an old cypress swamp and turned it into the now famous Cypress Gardens. 

He also offered photography equipment and free advice on taking pictures, giving tourists the joy of going home with wonderful pictures to show their friends, thereby spreading word of the gardens.

And it’s not just nearsightedness that hurts your success: mentally farsighted people have problems, too.
They want to leap immediately to the top. They dream of the future but forget to work on the things they need to get there. Consequently, they fail to reach their goals and don’t take the opportunities that are right in front of them every day.

And such everyday opportunities are often the most lucrative. Consider the paper clip or the Post-It note. Both are simple designs to solve a tiny, yet widespread problem. People who recognize such everyday problems can generate millions. Mentally farsighted people never grasp this.

So, if you want to be successful, you must notice the opportunities in front of you, but also plan out how you want to make your mark on the world.